My life lately has been all about random things that always come off blurry and insignificant whenever I think about it. It’s like my brain is forcing itself to forget, or to at least feel numb about things. And so my days are like a roller coaster going on and on with no color, no life, and no sounds.  Everything is getting too shitty that it’s already sucking the life out of me.

I need to breathe, I need to go to some place where I don’t have to think about what’s going on right now. But I don’t think a one week vacation, or even a year would be enough to at least lessen this feeling that I’m feeling. I’d been thinking of running away, because there are days that I’m almost at my limit. But somehow I know I’m strong enough, and that’s the only thing aside from family that keeps me here, that keeps me from running or fighting back.

And then I realize, in the middle of writing this, it’s not the life or the things that’s going on with my life that I hate, it is the one who’s causing it to be this hateful.

Je commence à te détester, monstre.