Life lately

• Welcome to the christian world, Iain! The photo was actually taken on the same day my baby cousin was christened.
  
• Since I have already introduced my ABComm family on my previous Life-lately updates. It is about time that I introduce my other family and one of the huge blessings that I received last year, my BSIT/ACT family. 
  
• On the last hours of February 14, I still managed to come up with a cheesy pampa-kilig moves for someone. 
  
• For our team building and company outing this year, we flew to Boracay for 4 days and 3 nights! It was indeed an early summer treat from the management.
  
• I usually give names to my gadgets and other stuff. So for my new pomelo-ish Nokia 225 phone, I named her Serena. 
  
• Last monday, my grandmother was admitted in the hospital due to the complications with her heart. So thank God because everything is okay now. 
  

1. We used to be close, or at least, we used to be okay. But now I just can’t stop wondering what caused us to change. Is it because of me? My wrong decisions? Or I’m just being paranoid because of what happened? Well, whatever reason you have in your pocket, I hope that everything will go back to the way they used to be. I just really like you, and I hate feeling shitty every time I see you. 

2. Thank you for always being there for me, for always having the patience to listen to my crap and for always being a good friend to someone like me. I can never thank you enough. Having you as a true friend is one of the greatest gift I’ve ever had.  

3. Honestly? I really do hope that I can trust you, or that I can rely on you without worrying of what might happen. It upsets me that we’re going through this, but I just can’t do it right now. I just can’t be what you expect me to be. Especially not after all the things we’ve been through. And about us being friends again? I’m not so sure about it anymore. 

4. I really wish I could take it all back. All the promises I gave, all the make-believes I made. I really wish I could take them back ‘cause maybe it’s the only way I can ease a bit of your pain. I know that I’m not the focus of your rage since she was the one who have wronged you. But I just can’t stop feeling guilty for being an “accessory to the crime”. I just hope that despite of everything, you won’t forget that you are worthy of the good things. You always have and you always will be. 

5. If there’s one thing that I am most afraid of right now, well, that would be us getting exposed while we’re still waiting for the perfect moment. Or it can also be the things that might happen after getting caught. But no matter what happens, I just need us to be strong, to be sure of what we believed in, and to have faith in what we feel. So now all I can do is hope that everything will be okay. 

Hey! If you need to blow off some steam, I suggest you should also send letters to random people like this ‘cause it could really help you lessen your baggage.

It’s really unfortunate that it took me two months to come up with a simple blog entry that features our birthday celebration last December 28, 2014. But in spite of the lateness of this entry, here goes a list of things that would remind me of how fun that day was…

• “Kami na ang nag prepare, kami na ang may birthday at kami na din ang bisita”
• It’s our first time to prepare a party for ourselves!
• Exchange gifts - it was actually a funny experience since we all prepared matching stuff like matching rings or hair clips. My gifts were matching pouches from EGG.
• The number 223 meant our age (Janela, Ever and I turned 22 last year, while Maria is a year older than the three of us)
• After the picture taking in our lanai, we spent our time playing Just Dance 3, Heads Up and catching up.
• “Happy Birthday Nan Feng”

(Note: Ever - September 28, Janela - December 21, Maria - December 22 and Dyan - December 23)

Last year, at exactly one month before my nameday, I finally had the chance to see and meet “her” in person. It was obviously one of the highlights of my 2014 and it just felt so surreal. From the hours of hesitations and hyperventilation to the minutes I got to spend talking to her, everything was pure magic. It actually felt like receiving a wish that you have for the longest time. 
And this “her” that I’m talking about is none other than Porshe Caina, the girl on the left side of the picture.
Some of you may know her as the tumblr famous behind porsheohporshe.tumblr.com, the tough and independent girl from the south, or the creative and talented daughter of the Caina’s. But for me, she will always be remembered as one of the most beautiful person I know and the person who inspires me to do better, to strive more and to enjoy life in different hues. 

There are so many things I want to say to you, but we don’t have enough time. Or maybe, I don’t have enough courage to speak up and be vulnerable once again. So for now, this jar will be their home. A place where all the feelings I’ve ever felt, all the love and despair, will rest.

And maybe one day, they will find their wings and soar to wherever you are.

I have loved, got my heart broken, then I eventually decided to moved on, and then I freaking do it all over again.

It’s crazy, but c’est la vie.

But inspite of getting bruised or shattered in the process of finding that one true love that will last and grow along with us as we age, some of us will still try to find that someone that may or may not complete us, but will surely bring a huge impact in our life. Cause in the end, that’s what matters. It’s always about finding that significant someone who will ease the pain, who will love you at your worst, and will be the lover of your heart as long as you both live.

So being a 20-something year old citizen of the Philippines, I can finally say that there will always be someone you will never forget. It may be an ex-lover, a ka-MU, the first love of your life or your crush for all season. Because there will always be that one person that will outshine the others, though I’m not saying that what I felt to the others are second-rate, or a mere scraps of that one great love that I can only give once. Because they’re not. So let’s just say that if the people that I fell in love with are food, I’ll definitely have my favorite.

And I know, my all time favorite will always be him