2/365

I’ve always loved reading, I guess it’s a part of who I am. Especially when I was younger when my dream was all about becoming a writer of good novels. That’s why it really hurts that whenever I visit a bookstore I cannot even buy a single book, because they’re just so expensive. I’m on a strict budget this year, so I don’t really have a choice but to resort on reading eBooks instead of reading the ones printed on paper (But to be honest, I’d been reading more eBooks lately because of the lack of money). 

Though the feeling of reading novels on my phone will never be as good as reading a real book, at least in eBooks I can just download every book I’ve always wanted to read without even spending a single coin from my wallet. I must admit, it’s genius.

So, please forgive me my co-bookworms and of course, the writers. I know it must be so hard to see your works getting stolen (that’s how I see downloading eBooks illegally) but I just had to do it. The books that are being published lately are just too tempting. A single book already costs me my 2 days allowance, and that’s a really huge deal for me. For now, I’ll set aside my personal feelings toward this case, and I’ll just focus more on quantity over quality. (But please you have to know that this really makes me feel like I’m a bad person)

P.S I was just really happy when I finally succeeded on downloading eBooks without the help of uTorrent. Anyways, I’m going to finish “The fault in our stars” before Jan. 6, so wish me luck. And it’s also my first book out of the 50 books I’m planning to read this year. :)

1. Finish my 365 posts
2. Finish my 100 movies challenge for 2014
3. Finish my 50 books challenge for 2014
4. And more updates

Day 1/365

Okay, so I’ve decided to post at least once a day for the year 2014. And for today, this is my post. I just hope that I can do it for another 364 days which I think is not a big problem given the fact that I have a good internet connection at home and even at work. So there will be no excuse for not doing this project that I really want to finish unless I’m out of town and there’s no internet connection or I’m too poor to avail an internet promo on my phone. 

So today, I’d been blogging a lot which, I suppose, a good thing. I really want to go back to blogging and I think I have to get a decent laptop of my own to be able to do it. Though using my phone will do, or borrowing my mom’s laptop, but I’ve noticed some of my photos are nowhere to be seen and I’m getting worried because I really want to keep them all for future reference (that’s why having my own laptop is crucial since I don’t have an external hard drive yet). Also, today I used my instax mini to take a few photos, and I’m really happy because the pictures came out really pretty. 

Since today is the first day of the year which means it is the 1 out of the 365. I think now is the perfect time to start moving forward into becoming a better person, which is my goal this 2014. So here goes my letters or short messages to the people who I think I have wronged last year, or to just some random people.

1. I am really sorry for being such a bitch. You have done nothing bad to me (that I’m aware of), and yet I was silently trying to kill you with my hard feelings. Though I wasn’t really trying to kill you, but even by imagining it was just too horrible, and I don’t want to be that person anymore. I’m really sorry for being unkind, and for checking up on you on your facebook account every time I had a chance because of my paranoia. And I feel so sick because of what I’d been doing, it’s really nasty and I’m not that person, or at least I used to be not that kind of person. So I cannot promise you that I won’t feel the hate towards you anymore, but I promise that I will try to be a better person towards you.

2. You’d been a constant joy in my life, you are one of the greatest gift I’ve had and I’m really really thankful for everything you have done. You may be the reason behind most of my struggles, and I may have hate you for a minute because of numerous reasons, but I really do love you from the bottom of my heart. Always.

3. Hi. I know we don’t talk anymore. And I might be still holding a bit of a grudge towards you, but I want you to know that I forgave you, for everything you’ve done wrong. for every lies and for every hurtful things you’ve done. Because I understand you and the reason that cost you to do those things. And even right now, everything feel surreal. I don’t even know if I’ve already faced what happened, if I’m just trying to be tough or if I’m really just okay with it because I was already too tired. But I really did loved you. 

4. Telling you “I thought you’re different” had crossed my mind so many times after that night. I was dumbfounded and I really didn’t expect that you would do that, I know it wasn’t your fault, and not hers as well, but being on my side of the triangle, it was very tragic. So I’m really sorry for being distant, for not being a friend or more, because I really thought things will be different.

5. You’ve never left my heart. When it comes to you, my feelings never really ends. It is always there, you were always there. Whenever I know that you’re around, I wouldn’t miss a chance to look around the crowd and search for your eyes. I was never strong enough to withstand your effect on me, I will always bow down and let it crush me. I will always love you so much or more. But now, I’m no longer going to wish for you, because I know better. Because no matter how hard I beg or ask, it will never be enough. I will just enjoy each moment till it ends. 

Okay, so that’s it. I’m sorry for the drama. But I just want and need to let a few words out of my system.

Photographed/Post-processed By: Dyan Ayangco

Baby, you’re a firework!!!!! 

Photographed/Post-processed By: Dyan Ayangco