There are so many things I want to say to you, but we don’t have enough time. Or maybe, I don’t have enough courage to speak up and be vulnerable once again. So for now, this jar will be their home. A place where all the feelings I’ve ever felt, all the love and despair, will rest.

And maybe one day, they will find their wings and soar to wherever you are.

I have loved, got my heart broken, then I eventually decided to moved on, and then I freaking do it all over again.

It’s crazy, but c’est la vie.

But inspite of getting bruised or shattered in the process of finding that one true love that will last and grow along with us as we age, some of us will still try to find that someone that may or may not complete us, but will surely bring a huge impact in our life. Cause in the end, that’s what matters. It’s always about finding that significant someone who will ease the pain, who will love you at your worst, and will be the lover of your heart as long as you both live.

So being a 20-something year old citizen of the Philippines, I can finally say that there will always be someone you will never forget. It may be an ex-lover, a ka-MU, the first love of your life or your crush for all season. Because there will always be that one person that will outshine the others, though I’m not saying that what I felt to the others are second-rate, or a mere scraps of that one great love that I can only give once. Because they’re not. So let’s just say that if the people that I fell in love with are food, I’ll definitely have my favorite.

And I know, my all time favorite will always be him

Have you ever felt an extreme desire to say something to the point that you already want to scream, but you’re too afraid that it might ruin everything?

Well, I do.

It breaks my heart over and over whenever I witness, or hear some things that crash your hopes and shatter your dreams into pieces.

I wrote these words a few months ago, I’m just not sure on the exact date when I did it. And even if I may feel a bit different today than that day, I know that I will always feel it. Because it is always the same burning heat in my gut that wants to explode every single time I cannot utter a thing, and the nagging pain of knowing that I am helpless. I just couldn’t find enough courage to fight for what I believe in, for the thing that I truly desire. I am too afraid to lose everything I’ve work hard for, because it’s not only the time and energy I’ve spent that are at stake, my heart and dreams are also included.

And the ironic part is, I only feel this way when it comes to that one single person. It’s tragic because after all the years I’ve spent trying and fighting, it will always be a pointless battle. Because I will always feel the same way.

“Kapag 5 minutes, di bumaba ang saranggola na ito. Matutupad ang mga wishes ng mga taong may pangalan dito.”

All the gray 1:1

What-happened-tonight in bullets:

• “Cooking”
• Kulitan
• Dinner above the Tulay
• Bon’s jokes and hirits
• After three years - dude
• Hatiran
• Muling ibalik andHanggang Ngayon
• Dude

#January3