We all have different sorts of regret in our life, most of them are from the things or actions that we’ve done, while some are from the things or decision that we didn’t do. Ironically, what hurts us the most are the words left unspoken, actions that never occurred, and promises that we have failed to fulfill. We may have a hundred reasons why they did not materialized, but in the end, those reasons are mere excuses for not having the strength, the courage and/or the ability to do what we could have done. Then we will start asking ourselves the various ways of asking “What if”, like “What if I visit here more often that I did?” or “What if I stayed there during the weekends or at least during sundays?” and those questions of ours will haunt us even in our sleep. They will make us restless and filled with the thoughts of what could have been.
It is tragic that it is the reality of life, that regretting decisions or actions are something that anyone cannot avoid. Just like how I cannot help but feel helpless and immersed with regret after my grandmother passed. It feels like it was only last week when the doctor told us that my grandmother only have 48 hours to live. And just like a drama on TV but was set in reality, I’ve managed to spend time with her during her last days. I even made myself believe that everything will be alright, that she will eventually recover and the doctor made a mistake. I was really fighting as hard as I could. But that hope did not ease the pain and regret that I’ve felt during the days and weeks I’d spent mourning for her, I kept telling myself that I should have spent more time with her when she was still with us, that I should have not taken her or our time together for granted. But in the end, it was all too late. She’s already gone.
And now, after two months and twenty five days since she left us, i can say that everyone have moved on. It kills me that in a short period of time, we were able to recover from something that should not be easy to recover from. Somehow, it feels like we still haven’t properly mourn for her and I am so guilty for everything. I am so guilty of the things that I didn’t do when she was still alive. And even now that she’s gone, I feel guilty of not doing the things that I should be doing.
I don’t know if deep inside they also feel the same way that I do, but I hope they do. Because my grandmother deserves more.
If there’s one place that I would always want to go back to despite the very long drive, it’s probably the Ilocos Region. As a matter of fact, driving up north and re-visiting all those exciting and breathtakingly beautiful places alone or with my “barkada” is included in my bucket list which I intend to do before I turn 30. Though the only reason why it isn’t happening yet is because of our busy schedule or because of our financial incapacity.
So a big thanks to our company annual summer outing which was held last March 30 to April 2 of this year, I was able to go back to Ilocos Norte and Ilocos Sur without worrying about my savings (which is why I won’t be mentioning any helpful facts about my trip like the transportations fares, entrance fees, hotel accommodations and other things since the management have already taken care of those details of our trip) Plus this time, I got to go with my colleagues, which is almost similar to going with my friends. And since this is the first time that I’m doing a travelog or travel diary, I’m not quite sure on what to say or how to begin. But let’s just start with day one…
Our journey started on the eve of April 30 as we boarded the tour bus that will take us to our destination. To my dismay, I was sleeping the whole ride to Laoag City, which is our first official stop. After taking pictures to the giant letters posted in the center of their plaza and having our breakfast inside the bus, we head off to the La Paz Sand Dunes for an early ATV rides. The sand dunes is actually one of my favorite place to go whenever I visit Ilocos Norte for it features exciting attractions. It is perfect for those who travels with their friends or family. The ATV ride can accommodate four to five people per ride. Riding the ATV makes me feel like I’m back to the desert of Dubai which in my opinion is a great deal. So as soon as all the groups are done with riding the ATV and doing sand boarding, which is the second attraction of the La Paz Sand Dunes, we headed to Marcos’ Museum. Honestly, I will never grow tired of seeing the late president Marcos. I just admire him and his legacy so much. Also, the location of the Marcos’ Museum is near to the store that sells the Ilocos Norte’s famous empanadas. So after you visit the late president and the Marcos’ memorabilia, you can also stop there for their local snack.
After that, we went to a church which I cannot remember the name since I did not bother to go down ‘cause I’m not really interested in seeing catholic churches aside from the bell tower of bantay church in Ilocos Sur. During our stay there, we received a very bad news from my uncle who was in our house that time. He told us that all of our lady house helpers snuck out during the night and left with no intention of going back. So my mom, which is also my boss, was raging mad. I mean, they could have told us earlier if they want to leave so we can look for their replacements. That’s why even when we arrived at the Malacanang of the North, we’re no longer in the mood to go out of the bus and do what tourists normally do. The only time that we left our seats was when we have to take our packed lunch in a cottage along the road with an overlooking view of the famous paoay lake. And that is the end of our first day since we had to retire early so we could settle in our lodging arrangements.
On the second day of our trip, we headed up north to visit the famous pagupud beaches to do our team building activities. It was really funs since my group won the challenges. We stayed there for the rest of the morning to enjoy the northern beaches and of course, take pictures. After that we had our lunch in a restaurant located at a different beach. When everybody is full and ready, we head straight to the famous Locos Norte’s windmills. But before we actually reach the place, we stopped at this very unusual road. It was beautiful but I just couldn’t remember the name of the place.
So after taking pictures, we bounced back to the bus to continue our drive to the Burgos Windmills. As soon as we arrive at the location of the windmills, I jumped out of the bus to be greeted with a really strong wind, that is why it was hard to take decent pictures plus I was being upset for feeling and looking haggard. Particularly because I can still smell the salt water on my skin. That is why if you’re planning to do a day tour to Pagudpud, make sure that your last stop is the beach. Because their toilets have a bit of salt water that makes your hair and skin sticky. But I made sure that I will not go home without at least one decent photo with the windmills. So after enjoying the giant windmills, we went to the Kapurpurawan rock formation which is one of the most beautiful place I’d seen during the entire trip. In order to go to the rock formations, you can either walk a few meters or ride a horse for 100 pesos. The rock formation is powdery white which makes it perfect as a background for our photos. There is actually three spots that you can go to, the first one is like a viewing deck wherein you can see from afar the white rock formation, the second one is you have to go down rocks, and lastly, the white rock formation itself.
Honestly, If there’s anything that you cannot miss when you go to Ilocos Norte, it’s the Kapurpurawan Rock Formation. So after beating the scorching heat just to take pictures, regardless whether they are decent or not, and enjoy the beauty of nature, we head back to the bus to go back to our house. And that’s the end of Day 2.
On the last day, we finally drove to Ilocos Sur leaving our beautiful house in Ilocos Norte. I was seriously regretting the fact that I did not took pictures of the house, it was a duplex but it was the best duplex that I’ve ever seen. It is in a quiet, safe and secluded location, but it is still near the city center. As far as I can remember, it’s around 12, 000 to 15, 000 per night. But seriously, it is worth every peso.
So going back to my story, after the long drive from Ilocos Norte, we finally arrived at our first destination for the day which is the Bantay Church. Even though it is a catholic church, I always make sure that I get to have my picture taken with the bantay church’s bell tower. It was a cute bell tower on the top of a hill, and you can actually go inside the tower unlike most towers we’ve seen. After that, we went to the secret garden restaurant for lunch. It is quite famous, even though their location wasn’t that good. But maybe because they really have the best food and ambiance in Ilocos Sur, that’s why every time I eat there the place is filled with families and tourists. After lunch and before going to Baluarte, we stopped by at a factory of native products of Vigan. After shopping for woven bags and blankets, we went straight to Baluarte to see the animals that were being shown there. I even bought a lion head designed backpack which costs me 1,500 pesos. When everybody is in the bus, we immediately went to the caburnayan place which means pot making place, though I wasn’t really interested in pot making so I didn’t bother to go out of the bus.
And for the last and our final destination for this trip, we went to the famous Calle Crisologo, the famous street wherein all the old houses of vigan stood. It is truly a remarkable place to see, and it is also a great place to shop at since most of the houses’ are actually souvenir shops. Though I cannot really claim that they have the best deals, but I can definitely say that you can buy your pasalubongs there as long as you have the patience to look for the shop that will suit your needs. After our dinner at Max’s, we were given enough time to roam around to buy pasalubong, take pictures or ride the kalesa that goes around the whole plaza for 100 pesos. Some of my colleagues even tried their local delicacies at a nearby eatery. And by 7 o’clock, we’re all waiting for the newest attraction of Ilocos Sur, the dancing fountain. After watching the beautiful show, we all head back to the bus to start our journey back home.
I cannot say that this is my best Ilocos trip yet, but I really had fun with my colleagues. Though if I will rate this trip from 1 to 10, and 10 is the highest. I will probably give it a 9. So I hope you guys will visit the Ilocos Region soon, because you will surely enjoy what they have in store for you.
Also, please forgive me for my crappy attempt of writing a travel diary. I’ll make a better one next time, I promise! xx
I am guilty, though I know I shouldn’t feel that way in the first place. Feeling guilty over the fact that you haven’t shown your darkest and most inner self to anyone but yourself is something that people should not feel. It’s like your guilty for existing or for doing your best. It’s stupid and ugly.
But I guess, I am stupid and ugly because I feel bad for keeping it a secret even to the closest to me. That’s why I always wonder if someday my big secret goes out, will they still look at me the same way they look at me today. I’m afraid to be stripped naked, to be fully known, and with nothing left to hold onto. Because it somehow feels like that this secret that I keep is the last piece of me that keeps me sane, that keeps me grounded. And eventhough that version of myself isn’t something that I should rely on, I know that I own my actions, thoughts and beliefs, and that is why I have the right to hide it so no one can see how ugly I can be.
If there’s one thing that is constant in my life right now (or as always) is that it keeps on changing. People leave, things aren’t the same as they used to, and there are mornings that even I cannot recognize myself in the mirror anymore. It feels like I’ve changed a lot, and yet, I’m still the same old me from way way back.
These past few months, I went to several places, met new people, and learned new things about myself and the world. I guess those little things caused everything to change. Simple things, or even a minute in your life could cause a huge impact to you and tomorrow. Well, I intend to blog about those mischief and adventures soon anyway. But I guess, soon is not soon enough. For myself, and for my beloved few readers, I will give some hints on what I’d been up to lately.
So here goes what’s life lately has been about…
1. For the past years, every time I visit Ilocos Norte and Ilocos Sur I always go home with a sad heart. For some reason, I don’t get to fully enjoy the historical and breathtakingly beautiful spots in the region. Maybe because I’d been going there for work, not for leisure. But this year, I went there with my colleagues and low and behold, I had fun! That’s why I cannot wait to post my Ilocos trip blog entry.
2. Remember my post about Josefina? Well… my grandmother died right after the night I’ve posted that entry. Aside from the fact that I couldn’t bear losing her, It also broke my heart that I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye or at least show her how much I cherish her on her last days.. there are just so many things that I should have done but I didn’t. I was too busy with what’s going on in my life that I wasn’t able to see what’s really important. And now, it’s too late.
3. My eldest cousin got married. And to be honest? I was really disappointed because of what happened during the preparations for the wedding and on the day of the wedding itself. Don’t get me wrong ‘cause it wasn’t a bad wedding, as a matter of fact, it was magical and a blessed one. The bride was so pretty, and my kuya looks so happy. I just don’t know, but the occasion turned out the way I have never expected it to be.
4. I have lived in our province my whole life, and being able to enjoy the beauty of our region with my aunts and cousins from laguna, manila and quezon province is one of the highlights of my year. I have always wanted to have my family and loved ones close to me, that’s why it’s a dream come true to have them here with us celebrating various occasions.
5. You see, I’m actually using my new laptop which I got from our most recent trip. Can you guess where we went to? Well… it’s just freaking USA. lol. Honestly, I can never forget the feeling of having your visa granted a couple of weeks before the flight. And the actual trip was the best thing I’ve ever experienced as a traveller. I’ve never thought that i will fall in love with the states and cities of america. Particularly Florida that I used to loath for no reason at all, California that I really don’t give any importance, and the famous Las Vegas that I’ve only seen in movies. Well… I honestly cannot wait to tell you guys my stories about the best trip of the year.
6. Last but not the least, let me share the status of my heart. Whether it’s really beating or not (I’m not talking here in a literal way), I’m not sure. As of now, I’m living over the edge. And any moment, I might fall in a pit less darkness. It’s a long story, perhaps I’ll share it some other time, or in another blog entry.
Okay, so that is my new version of “life lately” and I think I’ve managed to cover most of the highlights of what happened in my life during the second quarter of the year. I will be posting separate blog entries for each number, so I hope you guys will wait for them! xx
There are things in our life that we feel like we can never go a day without, like our loved ones, or the things that we hold closest to our hearts. These things doesn’t need to be made out of gold to be considered as special, because it can be a small trinket from your favorite adventure or your cellphone. In other words, it really depends on the person and whatever he or she holds dear.
As for me, I’d been blogging since 2009 and all these years my chosen platform has always been Tumblr. So I could say that Tumblr is pretty important to me. Though I’ve tried Xanga and Wordpress, but since most of the people I know are on Tumblr, I’ve never considered leaving the blogging site that taught me everything I know about blogging. Besides, I don’t think there is any other blogging site that can rival Tumblr when it comes to building online community. Because in one way or another, many lives were changed after being a “Tumblrista”. Some became famous, others earned good friends, while the rest got to experienced being able to express their emotions through re-blogs or through their own literary masterpieces. That’s why it’s really hard for me to leave.. because I was one of those people whose life was changed because of Tumblr.
But I guess everything has their own end, a period wherein you have to close a door so you can move forward. And so, this could be the end of my Tumblr days. The days filled with emotions and chances. I swear, I will never forget all the people, great people, I’ve met through the years because of Tumblr.
But this is not yet goodbye, because I will still continuously blog here for another six months while I prepare for the launching of my new blog, where the grown up version of myself will blog. Because that is basically the reason why I need this move, or change. I believe that I also need to graduate from the environment of my 18 year old self. I feel like it’s unhealthy for my blogging career or whatsoever. I don’t know really, but a part of me knows that what I’m planning to do is the right thing to do.
Thus, I hope that 2017 will be a great year for a new beginning. xx
For months, I’d been trying to gather enough stuff that I’d been using that I can feature in my blog. But sadly, I just couldn’t find the products or brands or even human beings that can really inspire me to write another one of my monthly favorites. That is why it took me months to gather the following stuff that I like and/or currently using.
1. Make Up: Naked 3 Pallete
I’d been using this eye shadow palette from Urban Decay called Naked 3. It gives more warm and pinkish shades unlike its predecessor which features more brown and tan hues. I love how it gives me a more feminine vibe and how I can easily apply them with the brush that comes with the palette.
2. Beauty Care Products: Victoria Secret’s Body Lotion (Love Spell)
I am not a lotion person. And if I can, I won’t apply any lotion because I hate how it feels on my skin since it’s very humid in my country. But lately, I’d been using Victoria Secret’s Body Lotion. I cannot say that it is really different from the other body lotions that I’ve tried before, but I can really feel the changes in my skin. But what I really love about it is the scent. They have various scent offered, but since my aunt gave me a love spell body spray last December, I made sure that I’m using their love spell lotion as well.
3. Personality: Janina Vela
hey hey hey! I’m currently getting obsessed with the teenage Filipina youtuber named Janina Vela. I’d been watching her vlogs since May, so I can say that I have watched almost all of her vlogs now. The young and bubbly vlogger surely knows how to catch her subscribers which she fondly calls her velafam. She features her vacations, events, styles and other interesting stuff about her. Sometimes she even includes her family in her vlogs which make her more adorable than ever. And whenever I watch her vlogs, I could not help but reminisce on my teenage years. Though I was more of a gloomy teenager back then, so maybe I’m reminiscing someone else’s teenage years. Haha
4. Gadget/Electronics: GoPro Hero 4
If there’s anything that I cannot go on my summer vacation without, that would be my GoPro Hero4 camera. I mean, you got to have a waterproof camera with you when you go to the beach, pools and other places people usually go to during the summer season. And GoPro Hero4 camera is the best partner when it comes to taking selfies or groufies since it has a built in fisheye like lens that covers more spaces than the usual lenses. The camera has many amazing features which sporty peeps will enjoy.
5. Fashion: Forever 21
If there is a brand in the world that I can say that represents my style, that would be forever 21. Whenever I am in need of “pang aura” clothes, I make sure that I will drop by at the nearest forever 21 store to check if they’re on sale, if not, I’ll just look for something that will fit my needs. It doesn’t matter if the clothes are more costly, because I seriously think that I’m getting more than what I paid for. Their designs matches my edgy style and the materials that they use are in good quality. That’s why, forever 21 is my forever favorite!
6. Application: Snapchat
I am pretty sure that I am not the only person on earth today who thinks that “snapchat” is one of the best application that was made due to its original concept and filters. I used to ignore it, but after I’ve seen several posts on tumblr using the snapchat application, I got intrigued and I eventually fell in love with it. Now, I use it like every hour of everyday. It really helps that everything you post can be seen on a limited time only, thus you won’t have feed goals problems or worry if you post too much because it is normal in snapchat unlike in facebook. So kudos to the one who created it.
So that is my April-June favorites! I hope I have shared something that people can relate to or it was helpful in one way or another. I will post my next favourites on the third quarter of the year, so please wait for it!
